You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
