how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
