3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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