Having a random hookup so left but love u
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize