Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
