I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
