the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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