That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
