i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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