I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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