it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
