you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
