i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
