he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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