Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
