no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
