I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
