she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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