i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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