I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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