Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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