dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
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not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
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I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
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