I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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