they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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