I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Holy sore nipples Batman
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
