I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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