Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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