We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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