dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
