i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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