I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
