If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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