I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
