I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
