Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
