OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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