i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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