Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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