Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
