The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
