So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
