guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize