i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
