I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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