Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
