I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize