that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
