I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
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It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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