I hate your face
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
