She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
