I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
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she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
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You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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