I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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