Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
