I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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