Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Panties = found
Randomize
