Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
you never un-have a 4some
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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