Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
