I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
