Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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