I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
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