On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
