So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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