hotel room ftw
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
