her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
