Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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