It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
